Even Bigger Time - GMA, Baby!

Well, just when it seemed as though HireGary.net and my billboard campaign had piqued, things went up another notch this morning. A shot of the billboard was featured on Good Morning America during a story on job seeking in a sluggish economy.

Click here to read the story (no mention of me) and view the video (the billboard can be seen with about 1:47 left in the segment).

Lies Lies Lies, Yeah!

Has your boss ever lied to you? Or perhaps withheld the truth? Have you ever lied to your boss? {Cough} {Cough} "I can't come in to work today... I'm sick."

This interesting study by Florida State University found that nearly 40% of bosses are dishonest in some way (at least according to the employees surveyed).

Not that employees are all peaches and cream... This article points to a study that says most employees have lied to their boss at some point.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Hitting the Big Time

Nearly 3 years after putting up a billboard to find a job (for all of a month), it's still getting noticed. Back in November the NY Post called me out of the blue for an interview for a piece they were working on about creative job search strategies. The article, by a fellow named Michael Kane, talks about several other 'outside the box' jobseekers.

Cut to about two weeks ago, and another out of the blue phone call. This time from the CBS Morning Show. They too were doing a show on extreme lengths job-seekers going to to find jobs in this tough market. Unfortunately, I didn't see it this morning because I thought it was going to air last week and forgot to DVR it today. Rats.

Anyhow, I haven't been keeping up on the website so here's a quick update on where I am... As the "about" section says, the real estate gig came to a crashing halt after a year. Since I've been working retail selling cellphones for U.S. Cellular here in Green Bay for the last year and a half. Great company, fun coworkers and a relatively stress-free environment. Still hoping to get back into the marketing/advertising biz at some point, perhaps even with U.S. Cellular.

Also goofing around with a couple websites... www.TubaPants.com and www.SaveTheCandyRaisins.com. Drop me a line if you want to talk cellphones, marketing, jobsearching, improv or pretty much anything, I guess.

Sign the petition at SaveTheCandyRaisins.com

Candy Raisins, a treat from my childhood growing up in the Milwaukee area, are in danger of going the way of the dinosaur.

Please visit the site I’ve whipped up - www.SaveTheCandyRaisins.com - and sign the petition in hopes that we can keep these confectionary delights around for generations to come. Thanks.

Ship Shape site launch

Just finished putting together a site for a former coworker who does some amazing things with wood. Check out the fabulous living room, bedroom and nautical furniture he builds in his workshop. The log furniture is my fave.

Check it out the online home of Ship Shape Woodworking & Cedar Furniture.

Romantic Jobs

Well, it's Valentine's day. Woop-a-dee-doo-da.

Careerbuilder has put together their own list of the Most Romantic jobs out there...
7. Wedding Officiant
6. Wedding Planner
5. Florist
4. Romance Expert
3. Lingerie Salesperson
2. Romance Novelist
1. Chocolatier

101 Dumbest Moments in Business

This feature from CNNMoney.com features the 101 Dumbest Moments in Business. It includes no fewer than six entries for Wal-Mart, and this little gem:

In June, National Semiconductor boosts morale by handing every employee a 30-gigabyte iPod, for which it makes computer chips.

In July, National lays off 35 employees - and demands their iPods back, claiming that the portable music players are company "equipment."

Big Dogs Media launches

Well, enough of this not making any money thing. I'm finally jumping headlong into the freelance consulting & design business. I launched a website for Big Dogs Media today to very little fanfare. My hope is to provide marketing support for small to medium size businesses that just don't have the time or resources in house.

Brochures, postcards, ad design, business cards, websites, email campaigns, press releases... that sort of thing. So, if you or anyone you know has a need, I'm here to fill it. Wow, that sounded naughty. Just go to the website, wouldja?

Blogging the blogger

HireGary.net got picked up by another blog this week called "Blog for Jobs." Looks to be fairly new, and talks about folks (like me) who have started blogging to find a job.

"Job seekers are blogging for jobs. Yep, thats right. Creative and talented candidates are writing their own blogs in an effort to stand out and get noticed. It's a new job hunting technique for the 21st century. This is a showcase for those who blog for jobs."

Commutin' in Dubuque

Apparently Dubuque, Iowa is the place to be... that is unless you like spending endless hours in your car commuting to and from work. According to Money Magazine, Dubuque citizens face the shortest average commute of any of the cities in their annual Best Places to Live feature.

The paltry 11.8 minutes edges out bustling metropolises like Bismark, ND; Ames, IA; St. George, UT and Lake Havasu City, AZ. Three Wisconsin cities made the top 25: Sheboygan, La Crosse and Eau Claire.

Holiday Parties & Alcohol on the Job

The Wall Street Journal's CareerJournal has an interesting article on alcohol and the impact in the workplace. Especially timely with holiday parties ramping up.

My favorite line... " Avoid drinking during an interview over a meal. Candidates need to be on top of their game." Ya think?

$100,000 for perfect attendance (sort of)

Thought this was kinda interesting, especially on the heals of the referendum in AZ that would have given $1 million to one lucky voter in hopes of spurring voter turnout.

The folks at Amazon are attempting to woo holiday workers with a chance to win $100,000 if they achieve perfect attendance. Biggest drawback is that it's not guaranteed that someone will win the $100,000. The only thing guaranteed is $2,000. The winner of that then gets the opportunity to choose one of 100 envelopes, one of which has the $100,000. Feels a tad shady to me. I think a guaranteed amount of, say, $10,000 for one lucky winner would feel less shady. But hey, that's just me.

Status report

Well, it's been a month (actually a month and a day, but who's counting?). Not much to report, frankly. Had a second interview with a major employer in the area. They seemed to like me. May not know for another month, though. The position isn't budgeted until the first of the year.

Also contemplating going into business for myself. A local travel magazine franchise is up for sale, and I'm very intrigued at the prospect of a) not working for someone else that can lay me off and b) increasing my income dramatically. Downsides are everything that comes with owning your own business and not making any money for the first 2-3 years.

I'll chime in when my status changes. To those who shot me emails, thanks for the well wishes.

Underemployed... again.

CRAP! Well, it was bound to happen... writing on the wall... and all that. As of last Friday, October 13th (holy crap, I just realized I got let go on Friday the 13th! Sorry.) I was told I was being let go by my employer, ERA Titletown, REALTORS. Apparently the housing market IS as bad as everyone is saying. ERA has let about a dozen people go over the last two months or so.

So, I'm looking for a job again. And, of course, there's not much out there. Let me know if you come across something that looks like it might fit my background. Click Here to check out my resume.

Seriously Cool Workplaces

Way cool post from PositiveSharing.com about outstanding workplaces. Companies like Google, Red Bull, Pixar and VW are featured with amazing design and phenomenal work spaces.

My personal fave is the slide at Red Bull London that gets you from one floor to another.

Egg-citing advertising from CBS

Sorry... I have to crank out this post before the pun police nab me. Beginning in September, the folks at CBS will be promoting their fall lineup on a rather unusual medium - eggs.

Yep, the CBS logo & slogans will appear on the eggs in grocery stores. They calling this part of their "Outernet" strategy to reach people outside the home and away from their computers. I have no idea who those people are that live in such a ridiculous manner, but there must be some of them.

RadioShack fires 400 via email

I guess one could argue that RadioShack IS a technology company, so why not fire a boatload of your employees in a more techno-savvy way. But canning 400+ people via email is just cruel. Sure, they supposedly let everyone know that's how they were going to do it, but does that make it any better?

And oh, on the upside, their stock is up after the announcement. How nice for them.

Help: 50 greatest thinkers in modern marketing

Fellow Green Bay area blogger Dana VanDen Heuvel is enlisting the help of folks in blogland to compile a list of the 50 greatest thinkers in modern marketing. He plans to do a an in-depth post on each one. If you have any suggestions, click on over now. FYI, he’s defining “modern” as in the last 40 years or so.

The purpose of this is to something similar to the Personal MBA but for marketers. As a sponge for everything marketing, I figured this was a good project to take on to help share the best marketing knowledge and wisdom written over the past four decades.

The take away from this list will be a solid resource for current and up-and-coming marketers to sink their teeth into to get the best that the field has to offer!

Craigslist comes to little ol' Green Bay!

There are good things and there are bad things about being somewhat insulated from the "real world" here in Green Bay. Probably the biggest pro is that the wild swings (economic, political, etc.) that hit the coasts and other major cities, tend to be non-existent or much less pronounced here.

On the negative side, we are literally cut off from some of the really cool trends that are available in other parts of the world.

Well, with regard to the phenomenon that is CraigsList, we are no longer outsiders. That's right, kids, the world of free online classifieds has hit the shores of Green Bay.

It ain't perty, but it's free and hopefully the sometimes slow-to-adopt folks around here will embrace it. We shall see.

TubaPants is Live!

Hey Folks,

Wake the kids, tell the neighbors and shout it from the rooftops!!!

www.TubaPants.com has been unleashed. A couple ComedyCity pals & I have launched a blog of internet interestingness. We'll be posting interesting, amusing and just plain weird stuff we find on the web. And feel free to submit stuff you find via the "Share A Link" form.

Forward the link to everyone you've ever met. Link to it from your site. Blog about it. Spray paint it on the Ray Nitschke bridge. Oh, and start saving for the official line of TubaPants.com merchandise coming soon.

I'm HUGE in Russia

This internet thingy is truly amazing to me. Especial the viral nature of it and how quickly info can spread to the farthest reaches of the globe.

Every once in a while somebody somewhere picks up my billboard story and posts it on their blog... a Russian blog entitled Есть Идея! - which according to BabelFish means "There is an Idea!" - did just that yesterday, and I had nearly 1,100 page views. That's pretty big for me, when you consider I averaged 5 views a day in June.

So, welcome to everyone from Russia and the Ukraine clicking in to see my story and my blog. Feel free to comment or email.

10 dirty email words

Post from the folks at sellsius Real Estate listing 10 words to avoid in your emails to avoid having your messages labeled spam. Not to be confused with a help article for spammers, but rather an aid to legitimate emailers out there

10 Dirtiest E-mail Words or Phrases:
1. Free
2. Congratulations
3. Compare rates
4. Great offer
5. Order now
6. Guarantee
7. Amazing
8. Increase sales (started by another dirty email)
9. Dear friend
10. Cash

Your blog is no substitute for your resume

Interesting post from the Marketing Headhunter arguing in favor of the traditional resume. While new technologies are arguably dominating the landscape (internet, blogs, wikis, webpages, etc.) the headhunter maintains that a good, strong resume is invaluable in the current market.

Sure blogs and web portfolios can demonstrate who you are and the work you do, but they can also discredit you just as easily. Definite food for thought.

Open Wide...

It's racy. It's provocative. It's in your face. It's an amazingly well executed billboard campaign for a lubricated cream... found by the folks at The Cool Hunter.

top jobs

What are the best jobs to pursue for the next five years? This Fast Company article draws on the work of the Bureau of Labor Statistics and an innovation expert to present the top jobs.

They looked at factors such as:
• demand
• salary range
• investment in education
• innovation & creativity

Top 5 on the list?
• Personal finance adviser
• Medical scientist
• Computer software engineer
• Chiropractor
• Environmental engineer

Cool Outdoor Job Ads

These are some pretty clever and creative job ads from what I believe is a German website. They basically show a human working inside some common machines (atm, coffee machine, etc.) looking less than thrilled about it.

Which got me thinking... what if all these machines had to rely on someone stuffed in there to provide that service. That really, truly would be a sucky job.

One Second Commercials - Time's up!

I'm all for trying new things when it comes to marketing and advertising... You really need to in order to rise above the crowd and get noticed. But this Advertising Age article details the latest experiment from Clear Channel radio just might be a little too out there.

They are proposing one second commercials. In the time it takes you to say "One Second Commercial" these "Blinks," as they are being called, will offer just enough time to hit consumers with a snippet of a jingle or sound effect. Hardly the stuff that builds a brand... But hey, what do I know? Read for yourself and judge, I guess.

5 Dirty Advertising Words

A recent BusinessWeek article by Steve McKee posits that the following 5 words - Quality, Value, Service, Caring and Integrity - no longer hold any meaning for consumer and therefore are useless in ads.

Over at Danavan.net, Dana makes his case that these words are as relevant as they ever were.

I come down a little closer to Mr. McKee's side of the fence. In my industry, local reators are all touting how much integrity they have and how honest they are in their ads. It's losing it's meaning. There are no shortcuts to building a brand. It is a long, slow, tedious process.

Read both and draw your own conclusions...

Happy Devil Day!

Well, 06/06/06 is winding down... and apparently the earth did not come to a fiery end. I gotta say I'm a little bit disappointed. The amount of letdown is on par with the lackluster "end of the world" event that was Y2K.

How did you celebrate this evil day? Ritual sacrifice? Hearty bowl of goat's blood? Did you just go see Da Vinci Code? Personally I'm hoping they add an extra month seven years from now so we can mull over the supernatural significance of 13/13/2013. But that's just me.

Top 25 Marketing Blogs

"Viral Garden" is a blog I bumped into today by a fella named Mack Collier. His Technorati profile describes it as "The new blog from 'the guy at Beyond Madison Avenue' where I ramble on about marketing, music, life, branding, whatever catches my eye that day."

What brought me there was the list he has developed & updates regularly of the Top 25 Marketing Blogs. An admirable goal, and one he has achieved quite adequately. The only caveat I have with the whole endevour is that he uses each blog's Alexa ranking to order the list. I'm not a big fan of Alexa and their questionable spyware-like approach to life on the web. That said, you need someway of ranking these sites, I guess.

Check 'em out, and let me know which ones strike your fancy.

Mack Collier of Viral Garden has developed a list of the world's Top 25 Marketing Blogs based on each blog's Alexa ranking. Mr. Collier's goal was to create an "AP Top 25" for the global marketing community, a very smart move indeed: Now marketers everywhere will either check Mr. Collier's weekly rankings to see what everyone else is reading, or bust their tails to make the list -- promoting it when they do. Either way, there's plenty of PR and link candy to be accrued by Viral Garden.

According to Mr. Collier, "The rankings are according to Alexa, and if I think your blog focuses mainly on marketing, or marketing is at least half the content, then I added you (and the content couldn't be all news-related, like Marketing Vox). Judgment calls had to be made, like including Creating Passionate Users and What's Next, and not including Micro Persuasion and AdRants."

Blogging advice from Seth

Seth Godin is one of the premier contemporary marketing minds, and his blog is definitely worth a regular read.

Recently he posted a list of 56 ways "get traffic to your blog." I think the very fact that I, and many others are linking to this list is testament to the truths in this simple list.

A couple highlights:
5) Be timeless... write posts that will be readable in a year.
me: The sun is going to burn out & fade away tomorrow.

11) Don't write about your cat, your boyfriend or your kids.
me: phew... i only write about my dogs, my wife & my nieces & nephews.

14) Be snarky. Write nearly libelous things about fellow bloggers, daring them to respond (with links back to you) on their blog.
me: Seth Godin is a dummy poopy head! How do you like that, Godin? Huh? Bring it.

18) Coin a term or two.
me: Internet Deficit Disorder (IDD) - people who simply refuse to learn how to use even the simplest of web concepts (email, searching, surfing, etc.).

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Hey kids... Hard to believe it's already been a year of posting stuff to this crazy blog. I figured as a sort of celebration, and because I like to shake things up, it was time to give the place a new look.

Still pretty simple - hope you like it. As always, your feedback is appreciated.

Word.

Refusing business on political grounds

In an interesting turn of events, a Tampa ad agency has announced that they refuse to do business with any client in areas that, according the an agency spokesperson, "seek to weaken the nation with these ignorant and ultimately counterproductive attitudes."

Here's the post from AdRants.

Specific areas mentioned include South Dakota; Omaha, NE; and Black Jack, MO.

I suppose it's only interesting if you agree with their particular views.

Here is the agency's site.

Amnesty International posters create awareness

For so many of us in the "first world" it's a sort of out of site out of mind feeling when it comes to the horrible injustices in third world countries. I mean, how many of us can get our brains around the concept of the estimated 400,000 people who have been killed and starved in Darfur alone.

This poster campaign posted on Adland by Amnesty International is genius on several levels. First, the message is an incredibly effective and powerful one. Second, the creative execution is phenomenal as well.

BTW, the tagline reads "It's not happening here but it's happening now."

Dejected and Rejected - par for the course

It's a simple site, without much point, other than to share in the only absolute in the jobhunting process... the soul-crushing rejection letter.

Check out LettersOfRejection.com. Or don't. That's cool too.

jobschmob

Here's is yet another timewaster of a website for my cubicleville dwelling bretheren - jobschmob.com.

Please note... HireGary.net does not condone the surfing of non-essential websites during the workday... unless it's REALLY REALLY necessary.

Do unto others...

Truer words have never been spoken (by a cartoon). From the mind of Hugh Macleod...

LOST in Viral Marketing brilliance

It's official... the producers of ABC's hit show LOST are freakin' brilliant. They have succeeded in creating a viral marketing juggernaut.

There's the edge-of-your-seat show, of course, and the myriad theories that abound out of that. But the tie-ins beyond the show are what have me totally in awe.

It started for me with the faux Oceanic Air website, and the easter eggs hidden within. Then came the first iteration of the Hanso Foundation website which had a couple tidbits, but nothing too fancy.

But now, oh man, things have exploded. The game is on - literally. The LOST folks have created an intricately layered game of easter eggs and clues spread across the show, a slickly revamped Hanso Foundation website, fake TV commercials (both during their show, as well as others), a fake corporate phone number, a fake manuscript - "Bad Twin" from the show that has been "published" as a book, fake ads in several metro papers and corporate tie-ins.

While I'm hopelessly hooked on all of it, the marketing guy in me is enamored by the Sprite product tie-in. Sprite's commercial is piped in on the on-hold music when you call the phone number. The latest TV commercial contains the words "paid for by Sprite" in the corner. The website in that ad is www.SubLYMONal.com - and the emphasis on LYMON is part of the site - a not-so-veiled reference to their old marketing campaign combining Lime & Lemon.

Stay tuned to see how it unfolds... I have no choice... I've been brainwashed by the Others.

Ahoy Office Mateys!

Avast ye cubicle scaliwags! Sail on over to the Office Pirates website for a booty of fun, irreverent office humor. If you like (and/or live) Office Space, this is the satire site for you. Not entirely workplace friendly, so watch yerself.

Subliminal advertising (gimme money) may actually work

A recent post on AdFreak points to a study out of the Netherlands that may confirm that the effects of subliminal advertising aren't total bunk.

Folks were asked to complete a simple task while watching a screen. During the task, one group had the words 'Lipton Ice' pop up for a split second, the other group saw a nonsense word.

The result? The majority of those who saw the Lipton message chose the iced tea beverage over bottled water, while the opposite was true for the folks who saw the nonsense words.

I still maintain that the chain stores are using subliminal messages in their Muzak... how else can you explain why going to Target for toilet paper ends up costing me $73?!?!

How to say 'Mwahkee' (and hundreds of other Wisconsin cities)

Very clever site for those of us who are peeved whenever people just can't get the name of our beloved Wisconsinhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif cities, towns and counties correct.
http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
MissPronouncer.com bills itself as "A halfway decent resource for learning to pronounce stuff in Wisconsin" and offers up audio snippets on how to pronounce the 190 cities, 400 villages, 1,260 towns and much more around the state.

Unfortunately, she doesn't get into the accepted colloqial pronunciations, like "Trivers" and "Mwahkee". But she does an admirable job with tough French & Native American names like Wauwatosa, Fond du Lac and Oconomowoc.

There's also a host of trivial facts about our wonderful state as well.


Update: Apparently you may have some trouble getting to the site because they are getting an inordinate amount of traffic after being posted to the AP yesterday. Here's a blurb from today's Green Bay Press-Gazette.

Is the customer ALWAYS right?

Thought provoking post on Seth Godin's blog talking about how more often than not, the customer is always right. BUT, there are times when you should cut ties with the most draining, unpleasable ones.

if it's not worth making the customer right, fire her.

Successful organizations (and I include churches and political parties on the list) fire the 1% of their constituents that cause 95% of the pain.

Fire them?

Fire them. Politely decline to do business with them. Refer them to your arch competitors. Take them off the mailing list. Don't make promises you can't keep, don't be rude, just move on.

If you've got something worth paying for, you gain power when you refuse to offer it to every single person who is willing to pay you.

I liken it to a bartender denying service to an "overserved" customer... It's just not worth it to serve them one more.

Source for entrepreneurial ideas

Take a look at Springwise.com when you get a chance. I ran into this site the other day.

Springwise and its global network of 8,000 spotters scan the globe for smart new business ideas, delivering instant inspiration to entrepreneurial minds from San Francisco to Singapore. Time to start the Next Big Thing!

Recent hot ideas include:

• California-based MobMov is a drive-in movie system built into a car, that pops up at different locations every week.

• Austrian manufacturer Frenkenburger is asking customers to come up with new flavours for its all natural hemp milk drink, Trinkhanf.

• Back in 2002, we wrote about Healthy Bites Grill, a healthy alternative to fast food that had just been launched in Florida. While HBG is experiencing slow growth, Kauai, a South African healthy fast food chain, is expanding rapidly.

Anybody have a couple million in venture capital they wanna throw my way?

A paperclip for your house, sir

This is mind-boggling. A dude started with a single red paperclip, and is trading his way up to a house. He's most recently traded a recording contract for one year rent-free in Phoenix. Here is his blog.

He's currently entertaining offers for in exchange for the rent-free Phoenix gig...

BE CREATIVE! I'm not holding out for any offer in particular and I don't expect to get a house for one year's worth of rent in Phoenix. However, my offer still stands that I will trade one year in Phoenix for a REAL General Lee - which I'm sure we can all agree will be the best intermediate trade item of all time. Ever.

Just how addicted are we to Cell Phones?

A survey of 3,000 cell phone users by BBDO reveals just how freakishly hooked folks are to their cells. The survey of 3,000 cell phone users, ages 15 to 35, in 15 countries found these nuggets - some predictable, others disturbing:

• 81% of 15- to 20-year-olds sleep with their phone on.

• Percentage of Americans who said a cell phone reflects as much about someone as a car does (70% of Chinese agreed): 31%

• 26% of Americans said they'd go back for their cell phone over their wallet if they left both at home (69% of Chinese agreed).

• 63% of Americans wouldn't lend their cell phone to someone else (90% of Japanese agreed).

• Percentage of cell-phone users who screen their calls: 96%

• 44 percent of Americans have found ways to flirt using their cell phone, such as through text messages.

• 14 percent of the world's cell phone users report that they have stopped in the middle of a sex act to answer a ringing wireless device (22% Germany, 15% in the US).

And from the McGyver files, our cellphones can come in handy in a pinch. A survey from Sprint found almost 2 of every 3 people used their cell phone backlight to look for something in the dark, mostly keyholes and walkways, while 7 percent said they used their backlights to cheer on their favorite band at a concert, replacing the trusty lighter of the past. And finally, 4 percent have used it to light up their face to tell a ghost story.

NASCAR - Redneck Juggernaut

It all started with a post on BoingBoing about NASCAR branded meat, and between their readers and a little Googling, I've begun to discover just how stretched this brand really is.

First, the meat. Hot dogs, bacon, lunch meat and smoked sausages - with the tagline "Get a taste of your favorite sport." Which really calls into question just what is in these meat products.

And don't forget to eat your veggies, for a more balanced diet. Plus, the complete line of crockpots to cook it all in.

Next up - the NASCAR personal computer system. That just seems out of place.

More fittingly - here's the NASCAR chainsaw from Husqvarna (which is just a fun name to say... Husqvarna!)

From the WTF? files - NASCAR & Harlequin have teamed up for high speed romance, or something.

And don't forget these great brand extensions from the NASCAR store:
• the NASCAR Sofa
• A book featuring the pets of Pit Road
• NASCAR draperies
• and the NASCAR blender

And, of course, the best sponsor in all of professional sports - Butt Paste.

Is a Messy Desk holding you back?

Aha! This is why I'm not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company - I have a messy desk. At least that's what the "Productivity Specialist" in this CNNMoney.com article is saying. That a messy office is a reflection on you, much the same way your wardrobe is.

Perception is reality, and my reality is that I'm a disorganized slob. Another column from a couple years back says pretty much the same thing - with some research to back it up. She points to the long line of top-notch managers churned out by GE, and how they have a policy requiring folks to have a clean desk when they leave work each night.

Perhaps I'm doomed to a relatively mediocre career. Maybe I will be able to rise above my messiness to conquer the corporate world. Who knows? I did find this list of reasons why a messy desk is better - and I'd like to believe that it will one day save a life.

11. Crumbs of food in the keyboard could keep you alive if you ever become trapped in your cubicle.
10. Annoying OCD coworkers will give your cubicle a wide berth.
9. Tons of visual aids in reach to use for explanations about last night's episode of Alias.
8. Much more likely to trip and injure yourself for your entry into the lawsuit lottery.
7. Ability to waste an entire day cleaning your office.
6. In case of hostage situation, plenty of makeshift weapons.
5. Perfect camouflage for your unwashed clothes.
4. Taking bets on rat races can be highly profitable.
3. You can pretend to lose the file that will delay the meeting much more easily.
2. If you spill your coffee, there are always crumbs to soak it up.
1. Makes you look busier than neatnik coworkers.

Marketing Athletes

Y'know, sometimes us marketing folks get a bad rap. Sure, occasionally it's justified. And other times it's just downright funny - take today's Dilbert for example:
"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like." - Sam (Natalie Portman) in Garden State.